Ambivalent

æmˈbɪv.əl.ənt

adjective

having mixed feelings or contradictory ideas about something

The word 'ambivalent' comes from the Latin word 'ambivalens', which means 'wavering'. It describes the state of being uncertain or conflicted about something.

He had never told anyone about his coming of age before, because he felt ambivalent about it.

Stephen King

The Gunslinger (The Dark Tower, Book 1)

Jessica nodded to herself, remembering her son’s ambivalent feelings toward the spice drug and the prescient awareness it precipitated.

Herbert, Frank

Dune

Taraza rather distrusted Archivists, which she knew was an ambivalent attitude because she recognized the underlying necessity for data.

Frank Herbert

Heretics of Dune

‘Just why do you think,’ he resumed when he had finished, looking up, ‘that you made those two statements expressing contradictory emotional responses to the fish?’ ‘I suppose I have an ambivalent attitude toward it.’ Major Sanderson sprang up with joy when he heard the words ‘ambivalent attitude’.

Heller, Joseph

Catch-22